And it’s all up to her. You know you’d be a fool, she’s the one gone bad. She’ll do it anyway, and take the lead and say she won’t be gone long. You realize, cause she’s too nice to you. And you’re too nice to her.
If you don’t let each other get buried, cause you know comes a time when love will unwind. Somebody suffers what’s new, still you.
“I’m not fascinated by people who smile all the time. What I find interesting is the way people look when they are lost in thought, when their face becomes angry or serious, when they bite their lip, the way they glance, the way they look down when they walk, when they are alone and smoking a cigarette, when they smirk, the way they half smile, the way they try and hold back tears, the way when their face says they want to say something but can’t, the way they look at someone they want or love… I love the way people look when they do these things. It’s… beautiful.”—(via venebelle)
She say that she still wants a friendship, She can’t live her life without me as a friend. I can’t figure out why I give a damn to what she wants, I don’t understand the now before the then. Most of this garbage I write that these people seem to like, Is about you and how I let you infect my life.
And if they got to know you, I doubt that they would see it, They’d wonder what I showed you how you could leave it. A friend in Chicago said that I should stay persistent, If I stay around I’m bound to break resistance, Fuck you, Lucy for defining my existence. Fuck you, and your differences.
And everyone in his life would mistake it as love.
I got an idea: You should get a tattoo that says warning. That’s all, just a warning, so the potential victim can take a left, And save breath, and avoid you, sober and upset in the morning. I wanna scream, “Fuck you Lucy!” But the problem is, I love you Lucy.
So many things have been cluttering my mind lately, and honestly…this feeling is so familiar now. It’s comfortable and I think I find solace in keeping myself occupied; always having something to do, somewhere to go.
Finding things to consume my time, squeezing new events and rushed activities everywhere I can see would fit. Even free time has become scheduled time. Just as wasted time has become scheduled time. So, when I take a step back, I guess my free and wasted time is neither free nor wasted.
Every moment is significant. Every breath, every word, every glance and thought is of some higher importance, and I find beauty in the fact that everything I do now is shaping my tomorrow.
There’s so many things I’d like to tell all of you. I miss everyone, mostly because I feel like I’ve been a little bit lost in myself for awhile. I’d love to sit down, relax, and laugh with you all. Do nothing and everything at the same time. Forget and forgive every grudge, every bitterness, every negative thought, and every hidden sadness.
I’d love just a few days, a week even, if I was feeling indulgent. A little while to catch up and remember everything that has held us together. A little while to talk to friends, old and new. Every single one of you. Every person I hold dear. A few moments just to appreciate all that has come to be as of this moment. A vacation, almost.
And after that, I can go once again to my comfort zone. My daily life of not-so-routine daily activities.
And in retrospect, I’d fall in love with it all and will do it all over again. Again, and again, and again.